"So what's the difference?"

I recently had the opportunity to start rewatching some old McLeod’s Daughters DVDs. The details of how this eventuated will have to wait for another day because there’s something more relevant to share with you now.

In the fourth season, Tess and Nick have finally got married. Nick’s old girlfriend visits. To their surprise she’s pregnant and tells them Nick is the father of the child. Now this creates a very tough situation. Tess finds herself having a conversation with Stevie one evening. Tess was saying “Nick suddenly has this whole other life that I’m not a part of, a life we were going to have together.” Stevie, straight to the point as usual, asks “if you’d known about the baby before, would you have married him?” It only takes Tess a couple of seconds to say “yes.” Stevie replied with “so what’s the difference?” Tess thinks and says “well then I would have known it was a part of the deal but when it’s just sprung on you…”

At that moment, Stevie’s questions help Tess move from the specific problem of the baby and chunk up to realise the actual problem, which is how it was sprung on her. This allows Tess to focus on what she’s really struggling with and work towards a solution for the actual problem, not the perceived problem.

Now imagine you’ve got a friend like Stevie. Blunt, gutsy, cares about her mates and takes no bullshit. What questions would she ask you about your present problem?

Something to think about...

"Tough times never last, but tough people do."

- Robert Schuller