A Dream Dying or Allowing Things to be Different?
At the moment I keep oscillating between these two states of mind. And it is a regular, rhythmic motion. I still haven’t found out what’s at the centre. Recently I’ve had to let a dream die. Something I’d been planning and looking forward to for a while. I’ve had this happen in the past, I’m sure you have to. The difference this time is oscillating between these two states. Here’s what’s happening. I get a bit sad and flat about this dream dying but then a sense of possibility, freshness and newness begins to surface. Followed by a slight jab of fear and “but I’ve got no idea what I'm doing???” I’ll pass on some steps to do which might help you if you’re in a similar situation.
Feel whatever I’m feeling.
It sounds simple but I’ve realised that I’ve taken in some of that societal brainwashing. “Yep, everything’s fine.” Bury feelings. Refocus. Move on. All topped with fake smile. Instead, I’m making more of an effort to feel feelings as they surface. After all, our minds communicate and give us feedback through our emotions. So why would I cut this off? I ask the feeling “what do you want for me?”
Modify action steps (mind sighing in relief, “She gets it”)
This is interesting. As I do this, I find I’m starting to hover at the centre of the oscillation. Each time lasting a little longer in the centre. It’s a strange sensation. Like in those cyclone movies where the characters suddenly find themselves in the eye of the cyclone. I can see and sense the confusion and destruction around me but am detached from it. Instead, calm, still, observant. Left thinking “what is the point of all this?” Now, this is an important question to ask yourself every now and again. We don’t often have time to reflect on this while we’re in the cyclone. The oscillating momentarily pauses. The calmness settles. I look up at the clear, blue sky above. Watch the turmoil and savageness of the cyclone around me. But feel the even stronger intensity of magic, potential, and strength of the calmness. The answer I get is “to live. Truly live.” (Your answer may be different from mine.) The cyclone swirls around me but I’m detached from it. I’m sick of watching this storm. I decide to pass through it into whatever is beyond. Things will be different this time. I know my purpose. The oscillating has stopped. Replaced by the strong calmness, stillness and sense of potential. I know I can pass through this storm and cross this threshold.
Something to think about...
“It doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.”