In the last blog I mentioned how I had set up a clinic and started seeing clients in Geelong with the intention of moving to Geelong. After a couple of months of going backwards and forwards I changed my mind and made the decision to stay in Tassie.
I left the last blog explaining that I was in a “reassessing” phase. I’m exploring and discovering things as I go because as you’re aware there’s no manual when it comes to creating your life. You can create your life, right? Or have you found the manual and keeping it to yourself?
When you’re in amongst life things can feel haphazard and random. It’s not until you look back that you can see the flow and natural progression of things. I thought I’d share some useful things I’ve discovered to help with your own reassessing. Some of those problems you don't want to mention in case you get an awkward “well that got deep real quick” comment. Or your hesitant to reach out to people around you because they haven't got the experience to deal with your particular problem.
The Simple Way
As you know I’m all about taking action and changing things that aren’t working. Finding the easiest way forward. Here's a flow diagram to simplify things when you’ve got a problem:
As soon as I looked at this flow diagram it felt like my head had stopped swivelling from side to side trying to focus on all these moving objects around me. I could stop and look at one thing; my reality. I started putting different problems through the diagram and they all seemed a lot simpler, easy to fix and almost mundane.
Then I realised I didn’t really have any problems. I had an assortment of action steps instead. And to answer your question (or loud exclamation) I don’t want any of yours! I’ll be that good practitioner who gives you the knowledge so you can sort out your own problems. Then you can grow and evolve on your own and tackle anything that comes your way (insert powerful, inspirational music here). Like when you really, really want to tie a kid’s shoe laces for them but you know if you do they’ll never learn how to do it themselves.
Surprises from Cheerleading
I never thought I’d get anything useful from cheerleading but here is the surprise I found.
The only place I could find this video was on Facebook. My apologies to those of you who aren’t on Facebook. Here is what it’s basically about. Nicole Arbour was a comedian, cheerleader and dancer. It was 2008, Nicole was in her early 20's and getting into a taxi when the taxi was hit from behind and she was severely injured. Her life was turned upside down. She spent the next 8 years trying to work through her injuries and chronic pain. As she said “I was a dancer but I couldn’t dance. I was a stand-up comedian but now I couldn’t stand up.” Then it dawned on her that the one thing she could still do was cheer. Cheerleading had already taught her everything that she needed to know about life and how to get through this tough situation.
There were a couple of things she said that stood out.
1. “When you fall on your face cheerleading, you smile, finish the routine and figure it out after.”
I’ve heard this type of advice and do it in some areas of my life but now it was time to make this my default response. I debated about whether to do the smile all the time because in some situations it might be inappropriate. Then I did a quick scan over all the problems I’ve had in life and I realised that the majority of times there was something to smile about. I changed it to smiling on the inside.
I’m not going to spend much time on this because you’re all pretty switched on and know this is just a repetition thing. You know the drill. Keep doing this new pattern whenever you find yourself in a problem. Soon you’ll be doing it automatically. It becomes easier because this response works better than the one you’re currently doing. It’s the same way you learnt to walk, ride a bike or use the three remotes to watch TV.
2. “I started cheering for myself.”
Through life I’ve spent a lot of time and energy cheering and supporting other people. This might be your situation too. Maybe you’re a parent or carer. Maybe around your mates or at work you spend time and energy helping people out. Maybe you’re involved in a lot of groups and activities. I realised that yes I set goals and work towards things for me but I don’t actually cheer for myself.
Cheering is different. Nicole says “go team” in a confident, loud voice (you know that cheer leading voice) but that’s not my style. Mine is like been at a football match at the MCG. The energy, buzz, banter, concentration, liveliness and noise of the supporters. That’s me. I had to cheer for myself the same way I cheer for Hawthorn. Fixated. Focused. Vocally.
Combining this new way of dealing with problems and cheering for myself (as corny as that sounds) has shifted my attention from problems to figuring out what I’m moving towards.
Or maybe I'll just enjoy getting distracted testing my physical and mental boundaries sailing. And getting wrapped up in how to amuse a bunch of Cubs and at the same time help them sprout and grow as young people.
P.S. This is not my dog. I still haven't got my head around how to deal with the hair, slobber, poo and smell they leave behind.
How do you want to be cheered for...
"That's one of the best caught & bowled's you would ever want to see my friend! Mervyn Hughes, what a magnificent reflex catch to take at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. And the crowd's gone wild! The Australian team's gone wild! It's a great day for Australia and it's a great day for Victoria!! A great day for the world and it's a great day for the great man Mervyn Hughes, the hero of the MCG. I love him!!!!!"
- The 12th Man Billy Birmingham's impersonation of Bill Lawry (past Australian cricket player and now cricket commentator)