Note: My apologies in advance to the friends I haven’t had a chance to talk about this with personally. This blog might be a bit of a shock for you. Feel free to chat to me about it whenever you like, as you know I’m a pretty open person.
Spring had arrived with the long awaited change in weather. Yes, I know this cycle in the weather happens every year but this year it was different. I had experienced a restlessness over winter which didn’t make sense because I was in a good place. My business was going well. I’d had a holiday to WA to visit my brother and his financee. I was catching up with mates regularly. I had hobbies I enjoyed.
But I could sense that something was missing. It’s the classic “you don’t know what you don’t know” scenario. When I get this sense I go back to the basics.
As humans we have six needs:
Safety and Security
Love and Connection
You can probably figure out which needs are a bit sketchy for you. When one or two of these needs aren’t been met we can get by. Not fantastically but still get by. When three or four aren’t met that’s when our unconscious usually starts giving us bigger signals to say “oi mate, something’s not right.”
Maybe you become a bit more silent and moody. Maybe you notice your internal chit chat get a bit negative. Maybe you can’t sleep well. Maybe you notice your zing for life disappear. Maybe you feel disconnected from the world around you.
These are like sign posts. These sign posts don’t simply go away. I know if I don’t take action my mind simply gives me bigger and louder sign posts because it wants to tell me something.
Even with sign posts (on the road or from the mind) it can be tricky to navigate through the tough stuff. We’re not often taught how to do this. So here is my how.
1. Notice the sign posts my mind gives me
There are lots of different types of sign posts with my mind, just like with driving. I’ve learnt to pay attention to the subtle ones that let me know when there’s a problem ahead. You know, a bit of whinging to mates. A bit of “I wish that…” “If only….” A few flat mornings or afternoons. Wanting to sit in front of the telly and eat junk food.
2. Find which of the six human needs aren’t satisfied
When I start noticing these types of sign posts I look at the six human needs and figure out which ones aren’t being met. The needs that felt the hollowest were love and connection, variety and growth. Could these needs be met in Tassie? Basically, things were OK but not fantastic. I won’t go into this because that’s content. It’s part of the “why” not the “how”, so not that important.
I felt I was left with a choice; do I stay in Tassie or go?
3. Imagine my ideal normal day
I sat down and thought about my ideal normal day. I ran through a movie of what I’d be doing, feeling, seeing, saying. I didn’t focus on a location simply what my ideal day and week looked like. After doing this I wasn’t confident that I could get this in Tassie.
I decided to set up a clinic in Geelong. A pretty gutsy move considering things were going pretty well in Tassie. But I knew I needed to be around more people. I really wanted to be connecting with more people on a professional and personal level. This would help satisfy all three needs more fully.
During October and some of November I flew back and forth and saw clients and ran a group workshop. A couple of times when I came back and got off the plane I’d experience a massive “phew, I’m back. Argh, this is great. I can’t wait to get home.” Now this is a clear sign post but of a different kind.
A few other spontaneous things happened. A couple of acquaintances/mates offered me a hand with different things. I was really surprised by their generosity. A mate sat me down, reframed my situation and gave me a few more ideas of things I could do to connect with people. Plus reminded me of the positives of living in Tassie (thanks for that). I had a good time sailing (you read about that in the last blog). I had some great laughs with some mates.
I was left scratching my head about what to do next. I was now getting sign posts directing me in a different direction. I hadn’t realised I felt so much of a connection to Tassie. It wasn’t until I had the option of not being here that it struck me boom in the face that I actually do love the land, sea and people here. I didn’t want to be somewhere else. Again, I’m not going to go into too much detail here because that’s content again. I want to show you the process of how I got moving forward.
Oh, yes I have decided to stay in Tassie.
I was reassessing the situation and been the organised person I am coming up with new strategies and a new plan of attack. Then one night I was going for a walk and decided to let go of working it out. For those of you who have worked with me I used the Release Process (letting it out the window).
I was left with a sense of calmness and excitement. I’ve got no idea what’s going to happen next except that my focus now is on enjoying each day. This is way to too airy fairy for my liking. There’s no way I’d let you or me get away with having a goal like that haha!
However, I’m in the middle of the story and I wasn’t going to share it until I had the “reassess” bit sorted but I’ve been bumping into a few people that are in a similar boat so I thought I’d share in case you can get something out of this.
At the moment I’ve pulled over and stopped to enjoy the view. Soon I’ll get on Google Maps and figure out where to go next.
To be continued…
P.S. If you're trying to figure out where the picture is it's the top of Mt Ossa
Something to think about...
"Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future."
- Yoda, Jedi Master